24 April 2006

Top Ten Lame Income Tax Excuses

Death and Taxes. The only things unavoidable in life - says someone to me. I can easily add a gazillion others, but I'm sure there's some truth in there.

In Bolehland, whether you Boleh or not, time's nearly up. It's time for you to go and submit your taxes. Have your checkbook ready. If you need to pay them, make sure you pay 'em up NOW. If they owe you money, well, look up Wikipedia for the accounting term "Bad Debt". It might help you to start accepting your fate now. Pay up.

But Bolehlanders being the strong optimists they are, always believe that we can finish our tax forms within 1 week and submit one. Some even believe it's ok to miss the deadline because it will be extended.

But the extreme ones are the ones who make up excuses, in hope of some form of respite. No respites la bro ... just do it like the rest of the rakyat lah .... anyways, here are the Top Ten Lame Income Tax Excuses ...

  • "I mistook the form for Indah Water bill and simply threw it away."
  • "But Daniel and Mawi told me if I spent lots of $$$ voting for them it would all be tax exempt !!" - Try at your own risk. Appears to be marginally successful if you are young female.
  • "My ... sniff ... form .... sniff .... died from bird flu last week officer .." - Only pull this one if you're into the poultry farming industry.
  • "It doesn't say anywhere on the form that a purple dinosour has to do taxes, Mr Officer" - Use only if the name on your MyKad is "Barney" and the Keturunan is "Raksaksa".
  • "If I told you I'm allergic to Income Tax Self Assessment form, would you believe me?"
  • "I can't pay any taxes because I pledged billions to the National Cancer Institute .." - Applicable only to self declared Lebanese billionaire
  • "I know it's hard to believe - but Bigfoot promised to fill in the forms for me last week - but the damned fella disappeared and now I only have his footprints !" - sometimes successful for applications from certain parts of Johor.
  • "I can't pay any taxes because my husband pledged billions to the National Cancer Institute .." - Please forge marriage cert to self declared Lebanese billionaire if you want to use this.
  • "Your ... form .. cough .. printed ... with .. ack .. green ... kryptonite ink .. gasp .. I ... can't ... fill ...." - Applicable to Superman only lah ...
  • "Aiks ... you not using the Chinese Lunar Calendar ah ?" - Moz Monster only
Just for fun, I'm second guessing what some other bloggers might say if they have to cough up a lame Income Tax excuse. Of course, I think some still lucky, don't have to pay taxes yet, while some have probably done better than me and already completed it. But, what the heck ...

  • The terrapins ate it ... Pelf
  • I lost it in an auto accident / The form got infected ... I.X.
  • I used the form as rough paper to draft this Top Ten list ... Moz Monster
  • KNN ... Linpeh where is my Incum Teks form lah ?? ... wingz
  • omg omg I have to do income tax form already? *faints dramatically* ... cheng sim
  • Damn. The freaking form makes me wanna down another shot of vodka spiked orange. And eat a baby. Tiu ... Fireangel

10 comments:

angel (in disguise) said...

Maybe i can say to the Taxman... just maybe, ok!

Wanna tax me or wanna sex me??

:P

i know...u sure shake head wan...

pelf said...

Muaahhaah.. Thanks for getting an excuse ready for me.. Unless I quickly grad and leave the university, I (for sure) will not need to use the excuse :)

Laksa said...

gawd, i hate filling out my tax forms!

Che-Cheh said...

Yo you got that right about Chester.

I love to fill income tax form because I never have to pay leh...already deducted from my monthly's pay by my co. kekekeke plus I bought a lot of books lah...donation....

moz monster said...

angel: It could only be you .. *shakes head* .. do the taxmen have a nickname for you already?

pelf: One day, eventually, you'll join us all in the workforce ... I will be waiting ...

laksa: Yeah, it's such a drag to fill up that form. But when I sat down to really fill it up, it really doesn't take more than 2 hours ...

che-cheh: I have it deducted also, but still I owe them money - every year now for the last 4 years already. The first 4 years working ok, they owe me money instead.

FireAngel said...

Make it 2 babies.

Infectioner said...

the form got infected? o.O
heck, it would be far too long before I need to pay taxes... bwahahahaha

moz monster said...

FireAngel:*rolls out red carpet* erm ... ok. macha baby kasi tambah satu ..

I.X: Just preparing you.

Anonymous said...

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