Big Deal !!! Big Deal !! It's the end of the world !!
Thaipusam this year might be less festive, might be less regal and might be less enjoyable? Reason? Coconut shortage this year, attributed to the rainy season. Here's an excerpt of the report from The Star.
Coconuts are all really a part of Thaipusam you can't have without. Thaipusam with no coconut is like sex without orgasm, driving a sports car without getting a saman, going to college without getting laid ... you get thte point.
For the interest of Thaipusam, here are Top Ten Ways to overcome Coconut Shortage for Thaipusam ..
- Clone the coconuts. Get the Korean professor for help.
- Screw coconuts. Throw Proton car parts that have dropped from your car instead.
- Just like they replaced coconut oil with palm oil, ask devotees to smash palm oil.
- Can't they just smash lychees instead? Or Mandarin Oranges from Chinese New Year overrun ? Or durians ?
- Impose a coconut quota system.
- Raise the price for coconut by 200%. Then wait and watch as coconuts miraculously flood the market.
- Sell coconuts only to people who hold special swipe ca ... oops ... this is the way to relieve the diesel shortage ...
- Ask the Government to immediately clarify the NAP and reduce import and excise duties immediately(Sorry, this is for shortage of quality cars)
- Postpone Thaipusam until enough coconut is found lor ...
- Kenny Sia, where are you ? We need your super coconuts.
Hey, folks, this is a joke piece I writing while waiting for the rain and traffic jam to subside. I hope no one takes offence to this ...