11 January 2006

Top Ten Signs He's Not Really Worth 42 Billion Bucks

There's been a controversy about a Lebanese man who's making headlines in Malaysia for supposedly being worth 42 billion bucks - in US Dee (which makes him richer than Warren Buffet), owner of 96 companies in Malaysia, a Lord, a prince and supposedly wanting to donate a staggering RM 1 billion + for cancer research. And even provided some money to build the Penang bridge.

Gosh, 1 billion bucks ... generous, to say the least ...

Now, I really don't know if this guy's worth that much, and if he's really who he says he is. If he's really who he claims to be, God Bless Him. If he's not, gosh, where's the due dilligence from the press and also our NGOs? Plus, if he's real, I would suppose he would have probably been highly decorated .. like Tun, Tan Sri or something like that .. at least Datuk right? Some Datuks have been known to have much less money and have done less for the country.

Anyways, girls, just in case you're getting along with guys who're claiming they're worth USD 42 billion, and you're suspicious, here's Top Ten Signs He's Not Really Worth 42 Billion Bucks ...

  • The luxuriously appointed Perodua Kancil limousine that he sent to pick you up for ... (cont'd)
  • (from previous entry) ... Your dinner date at Little Genting mamak, overlooking the beautiful Kuala Lumpur City
  • The twenty guys who're his body guard? You know the ones who follow him, like, everywhere? They're just policemen from the Witness Protection Department.
  • His "grand villa" at UK Heights was demolished by the Unit Kawalan Setinggan DBKL.
  • When you ask for some shopping money, he generously hands you a stash of monopoly money from his safe.
  • Those "Made In China" labels you found on his Italian suits.
  • The cigars all look and smell suspiciously like kretek.
  • When he opened a joint account with you, he generously deposited 1,000,000 .... Indonesian Rupiah for his share.
  • The finance company sent some thugs to repossess the luxuriously appointed Perodua Kancil limousine since he's defaulted on the RM300 payment for the last 7 months.
  • The constant phonecalls from Citibank that disturbed him on your wedding night, asking him when he's going to pay the 2 overdue credit card balance.

And there're some bonus entries ....

  • He's got a blog. And his nick is moz monster
  • His part time job washing coffee mugs at Starbucks
  • How much he complained about you paying RM 4.50 for your nasi lemak. RM 4.50 is just too much !!!
  • Upon closer inspection, you noticed the Rolex he gave you is really a Rulex
  • The mamaks from Subang are looking him up to pay up all the 'hutang buku 555' ...
  • He buys his viagra from the Indon jamu peddlers
You have been warned !! Stay away if you see these warning signs !! You really have to be careful who you call your dahling nowadays ... sigh ...


Newsmaker said...

Funny.. :)

moz monster said...

I just realised after following the news for a bit now that this guy can't possibly be worth USD42b - he would've been the 2nd richest man on earth !!

moz monster said...

Now he's arrested somemore ... definately not USD46b man ... here if you have RM46m, there's no way to end up in jail ..