21 January 2006

Top Ten Signs You Live Near a Dumpsite

Lately, the environment had been suffering ... illegal toxic dumps have been found, 'unfound' illegal dumps that are blatantly obvious all over (how many of us have NOT seen rubbish/waste/containers indiscriminately dumped at some roadside?), infringement into forest reserves, development proposals at beaches ... there seems to be no end to the damage mother nature has to put up.

Eventually, all that is left are those 'Maxis transmitter' trees, stretches of barren housing estates and only palm oil and rubber plantations. Heck, I won't be surprised if someday in the distant future, trees are only found in museums.

Hey, polluters, remember ... everything you eat, drink and wear comes from the good earth ...

Anyways, today, we are trying to see if you are actually leaving near an illegal toxic dumpsite. I mean, it might be what's causing you to turn green everytime you become angry lately ....

  • The mosquitos in your house have been fighting back lately by using pepper spray against you when you try to spray them with your Ridsect
  • You have developed the ability to pluck hairs from your body and turn them into an army of monkeys. ( Yeah, I know that could be Monkey King, but that's all just fiction ... )
  • The trucks that dump 'harmless construction material' are manned by people wearing Bio-Hazard suits carrying Hazmat kits.
  • Lately you have been able to recite the entire collection of Beatles songs' lyrics. Backwards some more. Funny thing is you don't even know English ...
  • For the last 2 years, your diet is comprised entirely of empty plastic bottles. Preferably, used Pepsi bottles.
  • Your life long dream of playing piano is now a reality, thanks to the 4 additional fingers you have grown overnight.
  • You've been wearing your underwear outside, and you can fly faster than a speeding bullet ... hey ... no, that's a sign you're Superman ...
  • Thanks to your newfound ability to inflate yourself after getting squashed, you have been hired to become the stunt double for Wile E Coyote of Road Runner fame.
  • Those contractors who have been dumping 'harmless construction wastes' nearby have all turned green and have tomatoes growing off their butts. (How I wish ...)
  • Those wings you've grown on your back is making it very difficult for you to sleep. And your new compound eyes make you dizzy.
Well, that was a light hearted look at a very, very, serious problem, really. We can all afford a little smile about this now, but I think we really outta think about this seriously. Find out more about the state of our environment and how you can be a part of the effort to make things better. Click here for Malaysian Nature Society. And here for WWF Malaysia.

It's never too late to start conserving ... wouldn't you want your world to be a better place for you and all your loved ones?

"The world we live in is one we borrow from our children. Return it to them as you had received it." - African saying


Kenny Lee said...

Another symptom: you can control 3 long blades in and out from your hand…(refer wolverine, a mutant)

moz monster said...

LOL. I would have been happier though, if they all mutate into some female form instead ;)