30 June 2006

Top Ten Things Superman had been doing the last 20 years

Well, folks, it's now pretty well known that I got turned away during the ill-fated, much complained about preview of Superman Returns. I've put that incident behind me now, and I've sworn off cinemas for at least 6 months. I have re-opened a standing account with the local DVD-9 seller.

But you know why the flying man with tight underwear worn externally was so eagerly anticipated? Because he's been away for the last 20 years or so. Poor man. One wonders where he had been, and why didn't he stop great natural disasters and human tragedies all those years. I mean, he can't be always saving people who cross the street without looking right, then left, then right again, right? Be ambitious a bit lah ...

So ... where would he have been all these while? Oh, far from idling around and building fat around his waist, he's been around, ok.

  • He was gainfully employed by the Works Ministry to keep the Middle Ring Road 2 flyover from falling down. And when he left to make the new movie, that's when the flyover had to be closed ...
  • Superman did get a contract to bend a straight bridge into a scenic one in Johor Bharu. Unfortunately, that contract was canceled. =(
  • Became the stunt double for Keanu Reeves in The Matrix. Remember how Neo could fly around?
  • Was seen sometime in the past in some car repair shop in SS2, using his X-Ray vision to check wheel alignment and realigning bad wheels with his super human strength.
  • Hired by Mid Valley GSC to chase away stubborn patrons who want to bring laptop into the cinema with his heat vision.
  • Took a year long round the world trip backpacking with Batman, Robin and Wonder Woman to "discover himself".
  • He was actually on WWE Raw as a masked wrestler called Dude Spandex.
  • Took part in Fear Factor Superheroes where he lost out when he chickened out at a stunt where he was supposed to eat durians. (Yup, like most Ang mohs, he can't take durian too ...)
  • Remember one of the Petronas Towers was tilted during construction? Guess who straightened that?
  • For a while he was the standing in at KLIA checking luggage with his X Ray vision whenever the X-Ray machines there broke down.


Inevitable said...

"Hired by Mid Valley GSC to chase away stubborn patrons who want to bring laptop into the cinema with his heat vision."
Hahaha... somehow I know you do something like this.

Che-Cheh said...

Good one...hehe

moz monster said...

inevitable: I could have sworn Suparman was really there chasing me away ... swear !!!

che-cheh: Glad you liked it. Everyone else seemed not to .... =(

angel said...

no comment doesn't mean no likey lah, liuliu...

moz monster said...

angel: yes ... i feel the liu ... I FEEL THE LIU ... I FEEL THE LIU ... YES !!!