One Year Ago ...

You know what they say about getting phonecalls at very odd hours?

That it's probably one of two extremes - either very good news, or very bad news.

One year ago, on this day, it was VERY bad news.

I remember the phone ringing that woke me up at around 6-ish in the morning. I normally sleep very soundly, and phonecalls don't wake me up. Something was different that morning. But I didn't think twice about it. My mum, who was overnighting in my place, picked it up.

When I later woke up to prepare myself for work (I had some really early morning work, and I was planning to work from home that day ...) ... my sister told me the bad news.

Our cousin called her.

Grandma has passed away.

There are moments that language fail to describe. The depth of despair that amplify the sense of hollowness in your soul, the sudden onset of sadness that simply drop your spirit to its lowest point. English doesn't have enough vocabulary to even scratch the surface when it comes to describing how I felt then.

We dropped everything. My sister and I took emergency leave ... I let the Hong Kong project team run the show. We took the long journey to Kluang. It's normally a long journey ... but that day, it felt even longer than usual.

The coming days were a lot of soul searching, reinforcement of family ties and closure for many of us.

Grandma had been suffering - her passing away, in some ways, was her release from her worldly pains. I, for one, while sad to see her go, was happy for her as well. I see it as closure. I'd appreciate it if you disagree to keep it to yourself.

And with the soul searching, I took a new direction in my own life. One year is a lot of time if you are willing to change.

Over and above all I owe her when she was with us, I owe her a lot too now ...

My chinese sucks, but if you do read blogs from heaven, grandma ... "我很想念你。。很久没在梦里见到你。我想，你现在比以前快乐。"