In the quest to be number one in everything, Malaysian bread manufacturers have discovered how to create the number one long lasting bread in the world - just add up to 5 times more preservatives. Don't take my word for it, there is a news report about the government probing the claims of unsafe levels.
I guess it might be conceivable that with such high amounts of preservatives in our breads, we'll finally solve the problems the Egyptians couldn't solve all those years. No need for secret embalming recipes. Just eat bread.
Now ... you know how this works. In Bolehland, the way to deal with these is to do the contradictory message routine. One ministry will be investigating the claim. Next ministry will strongly deny the claims. Third ministry will advise public to be cautious.
And after we, the rakyat gets totally confused, either the problem just dies away, or all the bread manufacturers will be asked to close shop, and a bread monopoly will be created. To safeguard us.
Anyways, in between the time it takes for the tests to be run, you can either stop eating bread altogether, or start a new breakfast toasted wheat biscuit. Or you could do the simple, not guaranteed to work, Top Ten Questions You Should Ask Before You Eat Bread ....
- It's still healthier eating this bread than gorging on a upsized burger meal, right?
- Is my wife trying to harm me by making me toasts for breakfast all these years?
- This could potentially safe my loved ones thousands and thousands in embalming costs, no?
- How would this bread taste with pickled olives? They're both preserved ...
- Is this the reason why my local HyperMarket was selling bread loaves at 25 sen each?
- Wouldn't it be selfish of me to not share most of this bread with my @^*& boss for breakfast?
- If I smoke, drink and do incessant amounts of ridiculously priced coffee, what's a bit of bread?
- Wait a minute ... upsized burger meal will kill me faster ... this bread will preserve me ... doesn't that mean they'll cancel each other out?
- Bread? I thought it's too much preservatives in instant noodles, right?
- Instead of throwing this bread away, can it be used as rat poison instead?
So, kids, do your tests. Ask yourselves these important questions before you decide to binge on bread. It might be more unhealthier that you initially thought !!!