23 July 2006

Top Ten Signs You're At A Bad Celebrity Wedding

Being overseas currently, I rely a lot on Online News sites to get my dose of Malaysian news and stories. And of course, just earlier this week, when Siti Nurhaliza announced her wedding plans with Datuk K, the papers just had 1 story, really.

The world might as well have come tumbling down. Or World War III might begin soon. Or the economy is going south. And the next time you wake up from your sleep, you'll be paying a few more limbs for petrol. But all that matters is that Siti is getting off the market.

So, being the busybody I am, for those of you who're invited either to her wedding, or to any other celebrity wedding in the future, here's a list of signs telling you you're at a pretty bad celebrity wedding ...

  • The bride's designer wedding gown looks like dozens of IKEA shopping bags glued together.
  • You're reminded to pay up for your own dinner before you leave.
  • There was a table reserved for the couple's children, grand children and divorce attorneys from previous marriages.
  • All 3 of the bride's ex-husbands and all 2 of the groom's future mistresses were at the reception. At the same table.
  • The main course: McBubur, followed by the new KFC burger, served with bottled mineral water.
  • There wasn't any wedding albums at the entrance of the reception hall. They put a stamp album there instead.
  • The whole reception hall is full of bachelors, record executives and movie producers, all crying like babies.
  • The best man is really a policeman who's making sure the groom doesn't jump out of the room and escape.
  • In response to high petrol prices, the couple made their grand entrance, arriving in a public bus.
  • The door gift: a VCD of the home video of the couple bullying their foreign maid.
Oh, if no one noticed, it's been a long while since I last did any of the Top Ten lists. 2 hours isn't a lot, but my body is still adjusting to the time difference - I'm screwing my meal hours, my sleep and as a consequence, I'm not getting enough time to read and blog. Once I get adjusted to the new times, this blog will again look more like a Top Ten blog than a travelogue. Not that being a travelog is a bad thing, or is it?


Amelia said...

LOL...true..it's been a while since we got any Top 10 lists. :p

I didn't mind your travelogue at all...I would like more...plz..especially on Sydney. :)

angel said...

Ya! I oso want Sydney!! I want I wanttt!

BTW, if I'm not mistaken hor, her wedding is 'opened' wan... anyone oso can attend wan, rite? That's wat I heard on the radio... or did I hear wrongly?

Ei ei, show ler today wat u eat!!
Faster make me drooool!
Fai tik, fai tik!!

Sheena said...

What kind of music d'ya suppose'd be playing at a bad celebrity wedding? I'm tempted to say a compilation of the one-hit/or no-hit wonders of the executives & divorce attorneys you mentioned. 'Cos the only reason they got into their current line of business was their respective [insert weird English phrase] boy band tidak jadi, or they got laughed off MI, or they (gasp!) got cut from AF.

Inevitable said...

Hmm... a question for you.
Would you invite your ex-wife to your wedding?

Che-Cheh said...

Good one! hehe

Hey I like your travelogue too.
Show more Sydney's picts plssss...

moz monster said...

amelia: I hear you ... my next post will be more Sydney ...

angel: Eh ... you also want Sydney? Should I just convert this to "Where Go You?" instead of "What Talk You?"

Sheena: I think they should play tunes like "My Achy Breaky Heart" ...

inevitable: I'll let you know if ever I get married, and then divorced, and then married again.

che-cheh: Sounds like I should really convert this into a travelogue instead ... *uwaaaaaa!!!*