Top Ten Questions You Should Ask Before You Eat Bread

In the quest to be number one in everything, Malaysian bread manufacturers have discovered how to create the number one long lasting bread in the world - just add up to 5 times more preservatives. Don't take my word for it, there is a news report about the government probing the claims of unsafe levels.

I guess it might be conceivable that with such high amounts of preservatives in our breads, we'll finally solve the problems the Egyptians couldn't solve all those years. No need for secret embalming recipes. Just eat bread.

Now ... you know how this works. In Bolehland, the way to deal with these is to do the contradictory message routine. One ministry will be investigating the claim. Next ministry will strongly deny the claims. Third ministry will advise public to be cautious. And after we, the rakyat gets totally confused, either the problem just dies away, or all the bread manufacturers will be asked to close shop, and a bread monopoly will be created. To safeguard us.

Anyways, in between the time it takes for the tests to be run, you can either stop eating bread altogether, or start a new breakfast toasted wheat biscuit. Or you could do the simple, not guaranteed to work, Top Ten Questions You Should Ask Before You Eat Bread ....

• It's still healthier eating this bread than gorging on a upsized burger meal, right?

• Is my wife trying to harm me by making me toasts for breakfast all these years?

• This could potentially safe my loved ones thousands and thousands in embalming costs, no?

• How would this bread taste with pickled olives? They're both preserved ...

• Is this the reason why my local HyperMarket was selling bread loaves at 25 sen each?
  

• Wouldn't it be selfish of me to not share most of this bread with my @^*& boss for breakfast?

• If I smoke, drink and do incessant amounts of ridiculously priced coffee, what's a bit of bread?
  

• Wait a minute ... upsized burger meal will kill me faster ... this bread will preserve me ... doesn't that mean they'll cancel each other out?

• Bread? I thought it's too much preservatives in instant noodles, right?

• Instead of throwing this bread away, can it be used as rat poison instead?

So, kids, do your tests. Ask yourselves these important questions before you decide to binge on bread. It might be more unhealthier that you initially thought !!!

Top Ten Malaysian Astronauts Questions

I'm excited. Frankly, I couldn't have imagined that one day, in about a year, Malaysians would send Astronauts into space. It's one of those flag waving, chest thumping gestures that we do - again - without any thoughts as to whether we really need it or not. It's just like we have a checkbox we need to tick that goes ... Astronauts?

I guess it's inevitable. We Malaysians do lots of these things, anyways. Do you really think the longest pulut in the world matter anyways?

Still, I'm excited. Having Malaysians in space would be quite an "achievement" and a reason to give a few more datukships, I guess. And the perfect ad placement for Astro ... Malaysian Astronauts - sponsored by Astro. Fwuah .... even has a nice ring, man. Eh ... if Astro ever does this, remember, it's MY idea.

So, I follow that the final 2 candidates are training in Moscow now. I'm sure it's pretty tough, pretty exciting, and a time to learn plenty of things.

I've gathered what I think must be the Top Ten Malaysian Astronaut Questions, things our dear Astronauts (or is it Cosmonauts, since it's the Russians we're flying with? ) ...

• Is it ok to bring durians to space?

• What about some sambal tumis? Ok to bring that to space? Please?

• Eh ... what happen if I get itchy and need to scratch myself while I'm in my space suit?

• Can I still send SMS votes to my favorite Akademi Fantasia contestant or not?

• So, tell me guys, where's the smoking break hangout place?
  

• So, where do we go for our daily mamak once we're up there?

• Will you show me where got cheap DVD when we're up there? Clear or not? I want DVD9 one hor ...
  

• Er ... we are supposed to cover the moon with the Jalur Gemilang, no? Neh ... the solar system's largest flag project that one?
  

• You call that a moonwalk? This is a moonwalk *does Michael Jackson's moonwalk*
  

• Dude, do we get to lepak a bit on the moon, and maybe, say, take some pictures?
  

Am I too optimistic or what ?

I originally drafted another entry for today, but during dinner and the subsequent coffee session with an old friend, the topic of today's conversation resonated so deeply in me I had to blog about this instead.

Without going too deeply into the actual conversation, we spoke about all sorts of things. You know, old friends who haven't met each other for a while - you can imagine all the things we'll talk about.

However, for the most part of the conversation, this friend talked about the frustration, the pessimism and the lack of believe in Malaysia. And it resonated deeply in me because I've had a few friends speak in the same manner on this subject in other coffee sessions.

Whoa !!! Am I missing something? Am I too caught up in work?

I don't totally feel in synch ... and but I don't totally disagree with this person's point.

And the thing that strikes me most is that this is a sentiment echoed to me by many peers of mine. People up and coming in their career, from all strata of Malaysian society, from all backgrounds. People from my age group.

I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel and see more of the world than just Malaysia. I have seen the bad, I have seen the good. And so too many of my friends.

I definately see the shortcomings, and I definately see the attempts to cover up, to butter things up, to try and provide an alternative view of the situation. In short, propaganda. It happens everywhere, folks.

I feel that we have lots to improve, but the keyword is WE. You and me.

What these people have all been telling me is that they don't believe they have been involved. Their feedback is not important. Their voices are either suppresed or discouraged. They don't feel safe in bringing about their criticsm.

I guess I see their point of view. I won't tell you where I stand, lest I get in trouble.

But this is what I have to say about the situation ...

We are who we are. A nation is but a nation in name if there are no people in there.

People today have a choice. They have options. With skills, with the right attitude, many argue that nationality doesn't matter. And you can see that many Malaysian have settled elsewhere. It's probably true that some settled elsewhere because of this same feeling, but that can't represent everyone, no?

In a way, it's true. I could have easily decided to work elsewhere, and would easily adapt and make that place home. Being a Malaysian holds no special meaning if Malaysia doesn't represent anything to me. I still treasure being Malaysian.

But I understand the feeling of many who feel they don't belong anymore.

If the voices of Malaysians count for nothing, what is the meaning of being Malaysian? I see their point of view.

"No taxation without representation" ... the famous words sparking the Boston Tea Party, a key trigger of the American Revolution.

I guess the sentiments of my many friends is reflected in this statement. They feel that since they're not given an opportunity to voice, and therefore, participate in building a better Malaysia, what's the point in being Malaysians? They feel they are being disadvantaged, and believe they stand better chances in other places where the playing field is perceived to be level.

Am I too optimistic? I have to question myself because I'm getting too much of these talk around me lately. Or maybe it's purely coincidental ... it's just the coffee shop discussion of the month?

One week in a blink ...

I'm trying to reassure my 7 daily readers. Yes, I only have 7 readers, 4 of them probably getting redirected unwillingly from some mad search engine. Anyways, no side tracking ...

I've been busy the past week. That's why there weren't any blogs. Here's what happened:-

Sunday - Friend from Thailand came. Went jalan-jalan & makan-makan all over KL.

Monday a. m. - Training in a prestigious hotel in KL. Colleagues from all over ASEAN here.
Monday p.m. - Colleagues from ASEAN demanded company during dinner. Ended up in Sri Hartamas.

Tuesday a.m - Training continues ... still not wireless access in the hotel. Nabeh.
Tuesday p.m. - Colleagues from ASEAN demanded KLCC dinner. Then demanded pub hopping. Half drunk.

Wednesday a.m - Training finishes.
Wednesday p.m. - Meets with customer. Gets scolded. Consoled self with drinks and tapas at La Bodega.

Thursday a.m. - Meetings all day. Achieved nothing, but took down pages upon pages of notes.
Thursday p.m. - Dinner with partner. Nope. Just business partner.

Friday a.m. - Conference calls, frantic meetings, preparations, etc.
Friday p.m. - Meeting with potential customer. Got home early. ZZzzzZZ ... mamak with angeliu.

Saturday ... Tired .... zzzz ....

And that, my dear 7 readers, is a week in a Moz Monster's life.

One highlight of the week was dinner on Thursday night at Ye Chine on Jalan Doraisamy ... along the so called Asian Heritage Row. Great food, excellent service and supreme ambience for a Chinese Restaurant. The Manager was also very accomodating, making dishes not in the menu to suit our preferences, and also giving my the CD of the background music played in the restaurant ... I'm definately won over. A little pricey, though. Reviews here and here.