27 February 2007

Top Ten Signs Your Doctor is Fake

Did you guys see one of the headlines on The Star today? Why doesn't it surprise me to find fake doctors around?

It's freaky, isn't it?

So you're feeling sick. Unwell. You have something in you that's making you feel terrible. You've tried panadols, you've had over the counter medication. You even tried the old wives recipe your mum told you. And still, you ain't feeling any better. So what do you do?

You dig up your company's group insurance card, if you work for a company that actually cares about your welfare. Or you withdraw the last of your savings. You'll need it ... because you're about to see a doctor !

But how in heaven would you be able to tell between a real and a fake doctor ? Here, hopefully, are some Top Ten Signs Your Doctor is Fake that you can use ...

  • When you look closely at the certs on his wall, it says: "World's Greatest Foot Masseur" and "Sijil Pemandu Bertauliah"
  • Checks for heartbeat by putting his stethoscope on your knees.
  • "Nurse Fatimah" looks suspiciously like the doctor himself in a wig !
  • He fainted when he saw the blood while collecting a blood sample from you.
  • When you told the doctor you had a bad case of diarhhea, he asks you to show him where you have the diarhhea.
  • To see if you really have a fever, he asks you to hold a thermometer inside your nose for 3 minutes.
  • When you went to collect your urine test results, he told you that your urine was too salty, and that it tasted a little funny to him.
  • For your cough, he's prescribing you two packs of Fisherman's Friend.
  • Checks your symptoms by referring to episodes of "House M.D" and "Grey's Anatomy"
  • You thought he was writing a prescription. He was really making this Top Ten List !!!

I hope with these signs, you can tell a real doctor from a fake one .... LOL ...

12 comments:

Applegal said...

Hahahahaa, I like the urine sample ones :) I know I'm gross, but hey, you can't sue me for that! ;)

Che-Cheh said...

The last one is damn funny. :P

may said...

sure boh? I'd better ask to see license next time I go to the clinic liao...

angel said...

Lemme check with Dr. Mahathir first...

moz monster said...

applegal:
It was originally a stool sample joke ... I changed it at the last moment ... I think this turned out better :)

che-cheh:
Hahahaha ... yeah ... if you go to a clinic and you see me, then you better run out quickly !!!

may:
I think in Ozzieland, it's a lot better, but in Bolehland, if you want to be a doctor, the answer is ... Bolehhhhh ...

angeliu:
LOL ...

*pauses ... and awestruck*

... eh ... angeliu ... liu know Dr M ah ??? Eh ... can introduce to me or not? I very idolize him one leh ...

*please .... please ... please ....*

JL said...

LOL!!! #7 power..

thanks for the tips ;)

Infectioner said...

I surely can use this list of yours XD

moz monster said...

jl:
Thanks jl !!! See my response to applegal about #7 .... =)

infectioner:
Yes ... don't leave home with out this list ! It's important that you verify your doctor is real !!! Else you get infected !!

Jemima said...

Happy Chap Goh Mei, Moz.

nyonyapenang said...

no wonder lar, that doctor i once consulted had to refer to his buku for the name of the medicine he wanted to prescribe.

angel said...

Becos I lup you KK, I tag u ;)

moz monster said...

jems:
Happy Chap Goh Meh. Did you throw oranges ?

nyonya:
Really? Wow ... please let me know which doctor, so that I can put in my list ...

angeliu:
Becos I lup liu, I will replai to your tag ... ;)