And now ... to the next goal

March is the month I started to work. About 9 years ago, in late March, I took on my first job.

So many goals, expectations, hopes and wishes all rolled into my working life.

This month, I unexpectedly received some great news. About work.

When I was a young Moz, mum used to tell me that I should study hard. Once I have finished my studies, I would be able to chase my dreams. Make true what I wanted. What do you want, she always asked.

Being a young and naive Moz, I never knew the true meaning of money. Or how hard it is to earn. I just know that we never had enough. We weren't very well to do at all, you see. So, I always gave her the same answer: I want to make lots of money. I will earn so-and-so amount every month.

Ever the patient and loving mother, she would always smile at that answer. I'm not sure now if she was smiling because she thought I was naive, or whether she thought it was impossible.

Well, mum. I made that dream come true. The great news I told you folks earlier, that's me being informed I'm making so-and-so amount every month now.

I've never told anyone this, so I don't know why I'm telling the whole world now - I've never forgotten that goal, that dream. While I didn't mean it when I blurted it out as a child, I did make it a goal when I came out to work.

There wasn't any timelines. There wasn't any pressure. It was always meant to be a goal just beyond reach so that I'd always be chasing something. It keeps me alive that way. It keeps me hungry for more.

Granted, money doesn't buy happiness, but I'm pretty happy I'm here now. I have been so fortunate. I am so fortunate. I wonder why I even blurted out that it sucks to be me. It doesn't. I'm not the wealthiest person in the world, or even in my neighbourhood, but I'm not the poorest either. And even when if one day, all my material possessions are gone, I'd have my family's love. That means I'll never be poor. The love from my family is all that I need.

One other thing I've been taught when I was just a junior Moz: you never stop setting goals. Every mountain you've conquered just means there's another mountain, another valley, another river or ocean you have to conquer after that. Life is meant to be like that. There are no shortcuts.

I'm now setting myself another goal. I need it to keep myself alive and hungry. I hope somewhere in my lifetime, I'll so to it that I can reach this goal, so that I can set another. And this goal has nothing to do with money. It's all about family.

I love you, mum. I love you, dad. Because of both your unwavering support and understanding, it had been possible for me to get here. Now, sit back and enjoy life, while I get about to my next goal.

Hitting the wall / Wrecked with Guilt

Today, I literally hit the wall. That wall. The one you call fatigue.

Halfway through the workday today, I suddenly felt dizziness. My head felt like spinning, and while it wasn't an ache, the head wasn't quite natural at all.

I quickly grabbed a can of Coke, thinking the sugar rush would help. No help. In fact it worsened. So, I finished the immediate tasks at hand, and headed home for a quick nap. Gym can wait for another day.

I'm happy to report that it's all ok now. I'm feeling much better after a few hours of nap. And I'll be sleeping before midnight tonight as well. I think it's prudent for me to get rested now while I still have the luxury of that.

Sometimes, just when you think you can still pia, your body reminds you that you ain't in college no more. =)

*****

My parents took the other car to a wedding dinner last night, and on their way home on a very unfamiliar road, they had a very minor accident.

Good news is, no one's hurt.

Bad news is, my sister, the rightful owner of that car, is feeling hard done and had some very harsh words for my parents. I can understand she feels hard done by. I can also understand my parent's exasperation that she had reacted in such a manner. It's just people reacting to a situation differently.

The bumper, the driver side lights and the side piece on the driver side had some minor damage, and the driver side door is now having some problem opening and closing. But the car's very much ok, and the damage, in all honesty, is cosmetic.

Not for the first time, I had to step in to mediate. And that means I get to pay for the repairs, and will have to take the car for repairs, in my own time. It also means tedious negotiation with both parties - my parents, and my sister. I have to make sure no one's thinking they're at fault, and I also have to make sure everyone remains on non-yelling terms. It's interesting how some problems get resolved, and it hit me today my mediation skills at work originate in part from home.

Sometimes, I feel wrecked with guilt that our own schedules don't allow us to drive or be with our parents to wedding dinners. This is one of that sometimes.

And I'm saying this without any ill-feelings or ill-intentions: I'm really bored to death seeing my relatives getting drunk at every wedding dinner, and their little antics when they're not. Can't the elders gather without comparing how the younger youngs are doing? And wouldn't it be possible to lay off that karaoke? If it's just a civil reception with no high drama, I'd probably turn up a lot more often.

Family, what would life be without family ? =)