Happy Birthday, Malaysia

"You're not young anymore, act like an adult." - Mum, on my birthdays when I was young.

50+1. Quite an age to be. Past the half century mark. In human terms, this would be really a momentous occasion.

This year, I feel non of the good feelings I do whenever 31st August comes about. I don't know how to explain it, but the truth is, my pride of being a Malaysian is no more. It's sad for me to say this, but everything I love about Malaysia is weighed down and overshadowed by all the things I don't like about Malaysia.

I'm a squatter in my own land. I pay taxes, I abide by the laws. Yet, I'm not getting full respect as a fellow Malaysian from many of my other fellow countrymen. In their eyes, I'm a pendatang, an immigrant. Sometimes, naturalised Indonesians get accorded better things that I do.

I got the grades, but didn't get the university place.
I pay the taxes, but I get non of the assistance.
I contribute to the nation, but I don't see the nation extending a welcoming hand back to me when I need it.
When I'm rich, I must be a cheat - I can't be getting rich without cheating.
When I'm poor, I'm the wrong ethnic group - I don't deserve help.
When I work hard, I am a threat.
When I do well, I am a threat.
I get turned away from meetings because of my skin color.

Hasn't it occured to you all, that I'm not your problem?
You are your own problem.
If you are such a superior ethnic group, why is it that you need the most help?

I just want to have my place under the Malaysian sun.
I want to work hard, play hard, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I want to be treated fairly, to be recognized as a Malaysian.
But I know.
I know it is one request too much.

I have a hard enough time making ends meet, I don't need more obstacles and barriers put in place to hold me back.

I have decided today, on my 32nd birthday, that there is no place for me under the Malaysian sun.

The world is flat, my home is where my heart is, where open arms welcome me.
My heart is not here. I'll be somewhere else, in a place I can really call home.

Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday, Malaysia.