Top Ten Things I Learnt At Work

It's the 8th year working anniversary special !!!

8 years ago, on this day, I joined the incoming tax payer's roll workforce, becoming a web consultant / programmer for a local company called CyberTouch. And it's been 8 years, 2 jobs, 6 titles, 13 countries (14 next month) and countless sleepless nights since then.

I don't wish my work on you. It's low paying, morale-sapping and energy-consuming. If you're like me, the guys don't respect you, the girls don't wanna date you, their parent's gossip about your lack of life. Yeah, it's that bad, believe me.

However, it's always true when they say that you'll learn something from even the shittiest job. At the very least, you'll learn that it's shitty, right? I had my fair share of lessons learnt, and in hoping some people will learn something about work, here are the Top Ten Things I Learnt At Work.

• When I take my time, I'm slow and inefficient. When my boss takes his time, he's being deliberate and careful.
• When the bosses are seen rolling on the floor with laughter, you can safely assume your request for a raise had been denied.
  
• "And other responsibilities" on your task list normally means doing everything else the boss should have done, but just too lazy to do.
  
• Shut up when you have a good idea at work. Otherwise, you'll have to carry out the idea.
  
• Don't ever volunteer to make coffee. If you make 'em good - you'll have to keep making 'em as long as you stay. If you make 'em bad, you would have to buy Starbucks to make up. You'll always lose.
  
• "Requires flexible working hours" really means you have to give up on having a life.
  
• When interviewing for a new job, it's always helpful to be awake, not asleep.
  
• When people say "You pay peanuts, you get monkeys", they're not being entirely truthful. Normall, people pay peanuts and expect a donkey instead.
  
• When my boss tells me I'm going to die, he's demonstrating good leadership. When he lets me choose how to die, he's empowering me.
  
• The pay is inversely proportional to your knowledge. The more you know, the less you're paid. Just notice how often our bosses say "I don't know", "Maybe yes, maybe no", "I have to check that" and "No comments" ?
  

So, the little boys and girls who're nearly ready to join the workforce ... beware the pitfalls of working !!

Hehe ... these are MY lessons anyways. You might have your own you wanna add. Feel free to do so ..

** BUT SERIOUSLY ...

On a more personal note ... here are people I'd like to thank for their amazing help towards my professional growth. You might never get to read this blog, and even if you do, you might not recognize its me, and you might not realise you're being acknowledged, but I had to get it out somewhere ... and in NO particular order ...

- Dr Cuong - Simply the best techie I've ever had the pleasure of knowing
- Wong Sifu - The most important influence in my first 3 years working
- Taiko Tang - For making me realise shit does happen, and the best thing to do is to deal with it
- Anil - Mentor with a sense of homour - what more can I ask?
- DP - Elvis is in da house !! Don't think I dunno you've been quietly supporting me
- Saqib - Best buddy to have when you need to troubleshoot something. Anything
- Dee - Technically, you worked FOR me. But the lessons I learnt from you ... man ... you're GOOD
- Tom Rumph - If ever I can have a boss for live, I'll want you. Not sure if you want me as your charge, though

Can't imagine a better 8 years working than I've had. My life may be a mess, but it's sure a fun mess. I've had NO regrets, and I look forward to the next 8 years of challenge and hopefully, growth.