I looked at my calendar today ... and I nearly died.
And these don't even count my time at customer place, travel between meetings, and actual work that needs to be done.
Perhaps I should have just died. How do I find the time to even do work, with schedules like the last two days in that snapshot? I'll be spending more time just being in meetings and calls !
This morning, my dad forgot to switch off his car's headlights, resulting in the car's battery bring totally drained.
We tried to jump start it with my car's battery, but it didn't work, and I had had to get someone from a auto repair shop nearby to come and fix the problem.
I just realised today again, that my dad is aging. It would probably be more common from now on to have him forget a thing or two. And it must hurt him to see us all help him out. He's a proud man who used to be able to do everything on his own.
You know, one day, we're all going to be old, and we'll all need help every now and then. I'm not sure I'll enjoy it, but I sure do hope that my children would handle me better than how I sometimes handle situations with my own parents.
My dad has done so much for me, putting in hours of backbreaking labor to make every dollar and cent that we children spent, sometimes unwisely. In a sense, we were able to punch above our weight because we had parents who support us, and gave their everything into making our dreams possible.
I'm sorry that I don't always handle situations in the perfect way, dad. I know you mean well, and I know I should be a more grateful son. After all, everything I am, I owe it to you.
"You're not young anymore, act like an adult." - Mum, on my birthdays when I was young.
50+1. Quite an age to be. Past the half century mark. In human terms, this would be really a momentous occasion.
This year, I feel non of the good feelings I do whenever 31st August comes about. I don't know how to explain it, but the truth is, my pride of being a Malaysian is no more. It's sad for me to say this, but everything I love about Malaysia is weighed down and overshadowed by all the things I don't like about Malaysia.
I'm a squatter in my own land. I pay taxes, I abide by the laws. Yet, I'm not getting full respect as a fellow Malaysian from many of my other fellow countrymen. In their eyes, I'm a pendatang, an immigrant. Sometimes, naturalised Indonesians get accorded better things that I do.
I got the grades, but didn't get the university place.
I pay the taxes, but I get non of the assistance.
I contribute to the nation, but I don't see the nation extending a welcoming hand back to me when I need it.
When I'm rich, I must be a cheat - I can't be getting rich without cheating.
When I'm poor, I'm the wrong ethnic group - I don't deserve help.
When I work hard, I am a threat.
When I do well, I am a threat.
I get turned away from meetings because of my skin color.
Hasn't it occured to you all, that I'm not your problem?
You are your own problem.
If you are such a superior ethnic group, why is it that you need the most help?
I just want to have my place under the Malaysian sun.
I want to work hard, play hard, and enjoy the fruits of my labor.
I want to be treated fairly, to be recognized as a Malaysian.
But I know.
I know it is one request too much.
I have a hard enough time making ends meet, I don't need more obstacles and barriers put in place to hold me back.
I have decided today, on my 32nd birthday, that there is no place for me under the Malaysian sun.
The world is flat, my home is where my heart is, where open arms welcome me.
My heart is not here. I'll be somewhere else, in a place I can really call home.
Happy Birthday to me.
Happy Birthday, Malaysia.
To be or not to be ...
Darned if I do ... Darned if I don't.
Sometimes, questions with just two answer choices are the hardest to choose. Because you have to choose one or the other. It's so black and white. No middle ground. No shades of grey.
Wouldn't want anyone else to be in my shoes now ...
